Walking Down Memory Lane

As fathers day approaches I've sat thinking about those loved ones that have passed on from this earth to watch over us in heaven.

I miss them terribly, over the course of my marriage... which hasn't been that long. I've lost four of my grandparents. It's been two years since I've lost any, but for four years in a row, we lost someone. Not to say no one we've cared about has passed, I think that is something that is continuous. Sadly.

In retrospect I wish I'd spent more time with each of them. Learning all the little things about their childhood's & growing up. My Memama (great grandmother) now she was one neat women. Traveled & had a lovely old home in Richmond filled with wonderful antiques. We recently sold the home, sad that we no longer have that link to her anymore. She was so much fun & my favorite memory of her is sitting in her kitchen drinking tea for breakfast.

There was my Grandma Scott, she was a school teacher for art in my home town. Her home was sold long ago... man that was a hard house for me to let go of. Hell she was hard to let go of. I can remember sitting on her back porch eating tomato sandwiches & playing rooke in the summer. Or during the winter the whole family would sit around her table & play a card game. LOL, she always made them fun.

Grandpa Henderson - I beat him at Mahjongg! Not even sure the family remembers the rules on how to play. We always called him & asked when we wanted to play. He was a wonderful photographer & loved music. And Pudgy .... sure do miss him.

And last but not least in anyway... Grandpa Gregory. His death was so unexpected, while he was in the hospital the doctors thought he was doing well. Then poof he was gone. We spent so much time at his & grandma's house growing up. I remember one forth of july when I was pretty young. They were staying up to watch the fireworks from Washington DC on tv. The programmers we're playing patriotic music.... we were being brats ( one of my sisters & I). We didn't want to watch that... we wanted to be out with real fireworks. He told us tough luck.... so we sat there with our hands over our ears & hummed so we didn't have to listen to it.

If I sit & think hard enough I can still hear their voices, but I know they will fade eventually. If you don't spend time with your families, especially those older members. You will regert it.

I think of Grandpa Gregory's sister Auntie May... she has some great stories about working in washington during the II world war, but since she won't write it down - when she dies it will be lost.

I have two babies in heaven. Argue with me if you want to, but I lost two pregnancies... I believe my grandparents needed little ones to love up there. So they took mine, knowing I'd be strong enough to deal with the blow. I know my little ones are in good hands too.

Don't forget to tell those you love that you love them. Always try to stop by & say I love you when you're leaving your home town.... Take the time, it may be your last chance. Don't do what I did & tell them I'll see em at christmas & love them over the phone. I never did see him again & I didn't get to tell him goodbye.

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Just back from the Doctors Visit....

Well the AC was broken at the Doctors office today, I was in & out pretty quick. They did a pap & listened to me breath. Almost didn't check anything with the baby until I asked.... guess it was the heat that made them forget. It's 103 outside.... she said they alway listen to the heart beat...

It( the heartbeat)was between 140 & 150 - no sonogram. Then they let me go. Told me they see me next month.

Bleeding slightly now, called them & they say it's normal & to go lay down for a bit.